Agnostic

Let’s Read the Bible: Genesis 6-11

A lot happens in Genesis 6-11. We meet Noah, God sends the great flood and Noah’s son sees the family jewels.

The Drunkenness of Noah by Giovanni Bellini

Domenico Morelli “Noah’s Dankgebet”

Genesis 6: We find out God has “sons.” God finally enacts term limits for humans and realizes he regrets his decision to create humans in the first place—except one. Noah, everyone; everyone, Noah.

Thoughts:

  1. We start this chapter by learning that “man began to multiply.” (Gen. 6:1) Giggity! There’s a problem, though. The “sons of God” find man’s daughters to be very attractive and they started taking “their wives any they choose.” (Gen. 6:2). This is one of the many examples of rape we will encounter on this journey. That’s a promise.
  2. Who are these “sons of God?” That is never fully explained. It does seem to fly in the face of monotheism much like Genesis 1 and 3.
  3. We do learn, however, that “The Nephilim were on the earth in those days . . . when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them.” (Gen 6:4). This implies that the Nephilim (my Kindle version of the Bible translates this to “Giants”), are a hybrid of an immortal and human. Remember the movie Troy? Achilles (Brad Pitt) was a demigod which I assume to be similar to the Nephilim.
  4. Somehow one man, Noah “found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” (Gen 6:8). He even “walked with God.” (Gen 6:9).That isn’t something you hear every day. These days, something like that would get you locked up in a padded room or elected president.
  5. Noah had three sons (no girls, thank God): Shem, Ham and Japeth. (Gen 6:10).
  6. God decided that the earth was corrupt and violent. (Gen 6:11-13). This certainly implies that God is not omniscient (all knowing). If so, he would not have the capacity to feel human emotions like regret. If he was omniscient, he would have known how man would act and how he would “sin.” An omniscient God cannot be surprised. If he was not surprised by how man acted, he created Adam and Eve (and their resulting descendants) solely for the purpose of destroying them.
  7. He told Noah to gather some “gopher wood” and gave him the blueprints for the Ark. (Gen 6:14-17).
  8. God told him that this cruise would be BYOD—Bring Your Own Date. So, Noah brought his wife, his sons and their wives on the Ark. Additionally, God commanded that two of each type of animal, bug, bird, reptile, amphibian that was living on the earth, so long as they brought a date, were to be on the ship before the end of the world.
  9. Wikipedia says that the size of the Ark translated to feet is “450 feet long by 75 feet wide by 45 feet high.” To give you some perspective, the Titanic was 882 feet long by 92 feet wide and 104 feet high and it only held 3,300 people. There are approximately 10,000 species of birds alone. #Perspective

Genesis 7: Noah and his family have a week to get ready for their 40-day cruise. Noah celebrates his 600th birthday. God hits the reset button and eliminates every living thing on earth that isn’t on the Ark.

Thoughts:

  1. And Americans think the retirement age is too high. Get to work, you bums!

Genesis 8: The earth dries up like California, the passengers on the Ark disembark and Noah promptly grills up some animals to sacrifice to God.

Thoughts:

  1. I’m sure that boat really reeked.
  2. Noah builds an altar and takes “some of every clean animal and some of every clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar.” (Gen 8:20). God smelled Noah’s cooking and decided he would never destroy human kind ever again. Though God noted that it wasn’t because he felt like humans would stop sinning, “the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” (Gen 8:21).
  3. God basically has said, humans are evil. They were born that way. You’re all screwed.
  4. Thank goodness for good home cooking; although, I wonder where Noah got the spare meat seeing as how there were only two of each species of living land animals left on earth . . .

Genesis 9: God reassures Noah that everything on earth was put there for man and so long as man continues to breed, he can keep it forever. Also, Noah passes out drunk with his twig and berries exposed to the world.

"The Drunkenness of Noah" by Michelangelo Buonarroti

Michelangelo Buonarroti “The Drunkenness of Noah” 

Thoughts:

  1. God tells us that all the animals and living creatures will fear and dread man. (Gen. 9:2). As a millennial, verses like this force me to think about climate change and environmental conservation. I do not believe that animals, vegetation or anything else on this earth was put here for us. Rather, I believe we are a part of an infinitely complex and delicate ecosystem and we have to do our part to not tip the balance. I also believe that we are like a virus in our total lack of respect for the planet and everything that lives on it. We must be aware of these underlying assumptions and biases embedded in religious doctrine and teachings because it affects us all.
  2. In order to remind the humans of their covenant with God, he places his bow in the clouds (think bow and arrow). (Gen 9:13-15). We officially know where rainbows come from, but now that you know they are a sign of intimidation to keep man in line. How does that make you feel?
  3. It’s time to cancel your subscription to Ancestry.com. Turns out, everyone on earth came from Noah’s three sons: Shem, Ham and Japeth. (Gen 9:18-19). Ham had a son named Canaan. (Gen 9:18).
  4. Noah started his own vineyard after the flood and passed out drunk, buck naked. Ham saw his father’s naughty place so he ran and told his brothers. (Gen 9:20-22). Shem and Japeth were a little more mature and got a cloth to cover their father and averted their eyes during the process. (Gen 9:23).
  5. Someone ratted Ham out, so Noah proclaimed that Ham’s son, Canaan, was going to become a servant for Ham’s brothers. (Gen 9:25-26). Maybe Noah should lay off the sauce. He’s an angry drunk.
  6. We learn that Noah dies at the ripe old age of 950. (Gen 9:28-29).

Genesis 10: Noah’s Family Tree

Thoughts:

  1. It’s very complicated. Check out these charts from Wikipedia.

 

Genesis 11: Nations Descended from Noah

Thoughts:

  1. Check out this map:

Map of Nations

Our next reading will be Job 1-5. I look forward to your comments and input. Happy reading!