Let’s get back to reading the Bible!
As you might recall, we left Job with his “friend” Eliphaz (who was smoking a burning bush), telling him that his suffering was all for his own good.
Job 6: Job responds to Eliphaz and basically tells him to f*ck off.
- Job begins by telling Eliphaz (rather sarcastically), ‘You’re right, my complaints are rash, I am only bearing the burden of the wrath of God.’ (Job 6:1-4).
- Job emphasizes, “[T]he terrors of God are arrayed against me.” (Job 6:4).
- He asks Eliphaz, do donkeys not cry when they are hungry? He is likening his suffering to the unconscious outcries of a dying animal. You really feel for Job.
- He then prays that God “fulfill my hope, that it would please God to crush me, that he would let loose his hand and cut me off.” (Job 6:8-9).
- He prays that God will end his life.
- He turns his frustrations to his friends and says, “He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” (Job 6:14).
- He tells them that at his greatest time of need, they abandoned him by fearing the wrath of God without ever knowing for sure if Job is a sinner, or if Job actually deserves his plight. He criticizes them and mentions that he has not asked for any charity or even redemption, but they ignore his pleas. (Job 6:14-24).
- Finally, Job tells them that if they could please explain to him what he has done wrong, he will be silent, but he will not stop until he understands the “cause of [his] calamity.” (Job 6:24-30).
- Neither his friends, nor God has given Job a reason for his suffering. How is Job supposed to follow rules that he does not know exist?
Job 7: Job is over this whole thing. He is in pain and is ready to die. He continues to struggle with God’s silence on the cause of his plight.
- Job continues his soliloquy and likens his suffering on earth to those of a “hired hand” or a “slave.” (Job 7:1-3).
- “Like a slave who longs for the shadow and like a hired hand who looks for his wages, so I am allotted months of emptiness and nights of misery are apportioned to me.” (Job 7:2-3). Don’t worry, we aren’t going to get around to solving the slavery issue with this epiphany . . . there are plenty more references and reverences for slavery to come. Love thy neighbor!
- He reemphasizes that he would choose death over living to end his suffering. (Job 7:7-21).
Job 8: Job’s friend Bildad weighs in and he is not helpful.
- Bildad starts by asking Job how much longer he is going to complain. He reminds Job that God can’t pervert justice or what is “right,” and God delivered Job’s children, “into the hand of their transgression.” (Job 8:1-4).
- Too soon?
- He tells Job that he needs to seek out God and pray to him for his mercy. Bildad continues by reminding Job that if he is actually “pure and upright” that “surely” God with “rouse himself for you . . .” (Job 8:5-6).
- This book is better than a Telenovela! It’s like we already know that Job did not do anything. Rather, he was the most righteous man on earth! I guess for God, this is how he treats his best—his favorites if you will. But I digress.
- He tells Job that nobody knows anything about God or his rules, so unlike a reed that doesn’t have water, he needs to search for water to save his life. Because we all know that like plants without water, “the hope of the godless shall perish.” (Job 8:11-13). I’m wilting!
- Bildad starts sounding like a modern-day TV-Evangelical. God is great, he would not reject someone who is blameless, he is a lush plant in the sun, etc. God’s “trust is a spider web,” a.k.a. beyond our understanding. (Job 14-22). We’ve all heard this before.
Job 9: Job points out that there is no arbiter between man and God. Then Job drops a truth bomb and the mic.
- Job sets Bilbo Bildad in his place. He says that there is no way to win with God or be on his good side because “If one wished to contend with him, one could not answer him once in a thousand times.” (Job 9:1-3).
- He continues and points out that God can take anything he wants but nobody “who will say to him, “What are you doing?” (Job 9:12)
- Job states that he must ask for mercy from God because he knows he has done no wrong. (Job 9:13-24). You have to admire Job’s tenacity, and as a lawyer, I agree: Job is innocent until proven guilty. #Lawyered
- Job finishes by pointing out his own mortality. He states, “My days are swifter than a runner; they flee away; they see no good.” (Job 9:25). I guess there were runners in Biblical times and just like me they saw no good in running.
- He pleads with God to “take his rod away from me, and let not dread of him terrify me. Then I would speak without fear of him, for I am not so in myself.” (Job 9:34-35). Haha! He said rod.
Will God take his rod away from Job? Tune back in to find out! Next reading is Job 10-13. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Peace and love,
A lot happens in Genesis 6-11. We meet Noah, God sends the great flood and Noah’s son sees the family jewels.
Domenico Morelli “Noah’s Dankgebet”
Genesis 6: We find out God has “sons.” God finally enacts term limits for humans and realizes he regrets his decision to create humans in the first place—except one. Noah, everyone; everyone, Noah.
- We start this chapter by learning that “man began to multiply.” (Gen. 6:1) Giggity! There’s a problem, though. The “sons of God” find man’s daughters to be very attractive and they started taking “their wives any they choose.” (Gen. 6:2). This is one of the many examples of rape we will encounter on this journey. That’s a promise.
- Who are these “sons of God?” That is never fully explained. It does seem to fly in the face of monotheism much like Genesis 1 and 3.
- We do learn, however, that “The Nephilim were on the earth in those days . . . when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them.” (Gen 6:4). This implies that the Nephilim (my Kindle version of the Bible translates this to “Giants”), are a hybrid of an immortal and human. Remember the movie Troy? Achilles (Brad Pitt) was a demigod which I assume to be similar to the Nephilim.
- Somehow one man, Noah “found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” (Gen 6:8). He even “walked with God.” (Gen 6:9).That isn’t something you hear every day. These days, something like that would get you locked up in a padded room or elected president.
- Noah had three sons (no girls, thank God): Shem, Ham and Japeth. (Gen 6:10).
- God decided that the earth was corrupt and violent. (Gen 6:11-13). This certainly implies that God is not omniscient (all knowing). If so, he would not have the capacity to feel human emotions like regret. If he was omniscient, he would have known how man would act and how he would “sin.” An omniscient God cannot be surprised. If he was not surprised by how man acted, he created Adam and Eve (and their resulting descendants) solely for the purpose of destroying them.
- He told Noah to gather some “gopher wood” and gave him the blueprints for the Ark. (Gen 6:14-17).
- God told him that this cruise would be BYOD—Bring Your Own Date. So, Noah brought his wife, his sons and their wives on the Ark. Additionally, God commanded that two of each type of animal, bug, bird, reptile, amphibian that was living on the earth, so long as they brought a date, were to be on the ship before the end of the world.
- Wikipedia says that the size of the Ark translated to feet is “450 feet long by 75 feet wide by 45 feet high.” To give you some perspective, the Titanic was 882 feet long by 92 feet wide and 104 feet high and it only held 3,300 people. There are approximately 10,000 species of birds alone. #Perspective
Genesis 7: Noah and his family have a week to get ready for their 40-day cruise. Noah celebrates his 600th birthday. God hits the reset button and eliminates every living thing on earth that isn’t on the Ark.
- And Americans think the retirement age is too high. Get to work, you bums!
Genesis 8: The earth dries up like California, the passengers on the Ark disembark and Noah promptly grills up some animals to sacrifice to God.
- I’m sure that boat really reeked.
- Noah builds an altar and takes “some of every clean animal and some of every clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar.” (Gen 8:20). God smelled Noah’s cooking and decided he would never destroy human kind ever again. Though God noted that it wasn’t because he felt like humans would stop sinning, “the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” (Gen 8:21).
- God basically has said, humans are evil. They were born that way. You’re all screwed.
- Thank goodness for good home cooking; although, I wonder where Noah got the spare meat seeing as how there were only two of each species of living land animals left on earth . . .
Genesis 9: God reassures Noah that everything on earth was put there for man and so long as man continues to breed, he can keep it forever. Also, Noah passes out drunk with his twig and berries exposed to the world.
Michelangelo Buonarroti “The Drunkenness of Noah”
- God tells us that all the animals and living creatures will fear and dread man. (Gen. 9:2). As a millennial, verses like this force me to think about climate change and environmental conservation. I do not believe that animals, vegetation or anything else on this earth was put here for us. Rather, I believe we are a part of an infinitely complex and delicate ecosystem and we have to do our part to not tip the balance. I also believe that we are like a virus in our total lack of respect for the planet and everything that lives on it. We must be aware of these underlying assumptions and biases embedded in religious doctrine and teachings because it affects us all.
- In order to remind the humans of their covenant with God, he places his bow in the clouds (think bow and arrow). (Gen 9:13-15). We officially know where rainbows come from, but now that you know they are a sign of intimidation to keep man in line. How does that make you feel?
- It’s time to cancel your subscription to Ancestry.com. Turns out, everyone on earth came from Noah’s three sons: Shem, Ham and Japeth. (Gen 9:18-19). Ham had a son named Canaan. (Gen 9:18).
- Noah started his own vineyard after the flood and passed out drunk, buck naked. Ham saw his father’s naughty place so he ran and told his brothers. (Gen 9:20-22). Shem and Japeth were a little more mature and got a cloth to cover their father and averted their eyes during the process. (Gen 9:23).
- Someone ratted Ham out, so Noah proclaimed that Ham’s son, Canaan, was going to become a servant for Ham’s brothers. (Gen 9:25-26). Maybe Noah should lay off the sauce. He’s an angry drunk.
- We learn that Noah dies at the ripe old age of 950. (Gen 9:28-29).
Genesis 10: Noah’s Family Tree
- It’s very complicated. Check out these charts from Wikipedia.
Genesis 11: Nations Descended from Noah
- Check out this map:
Our next reading will be Job 1-5. I look forward to your comments and input. Happy reading!
A gracious reader reminded me that in order to read the Bible chronologically, you must skip around. So follow this link to see the schedule that I will be following in order to read the Bible in chronological order.
The next post will cover Genesis 6-11, and the one after that jump to Job 1-5. If you need some inspiration, this might help:
Available on Amazon
I will start by saying that, so far, the Bible has been a pretty good read. A lot happens in Genesis 1-10, thus I have decided to split this post into two parts. This is a still a work in progress and I am not totally sure how I will approach it. For now, I have given a sentence or two summarizing each chapter. Then, I give you my unfiltered and knee-jerk reactions to what I have read. I look forward to thoughtful conversation and to start this undertaking with you!
Genesis 1-5 Summary: God created earth and Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve getting ousted from the Garden of Eden after eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve’s oldest son kills his brother.
Genesis 1: God created the earth in six days, then he took a break.
- I find it fascinating that after each day of creation, the Bible says, “And God saw that it was good.” (e.g., Gen 1:10). It implies to me that the concept of goodness is not something that God always possessed. He had to be shown goodness. Goodness that appears to be something that even God himself had to learn. But an all-knowing God would not have found the concept of good and bad as something to be learned. Does that then mean that goodness exists outside of God as a universal truth that even he cannot escape? Or was this just God expressing how pleased he was with himself for almost a whole week’s worth of work?
- God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” (Gen 1:26). Our?
- God gives everything he has put on earth for human consumption. (Gen 1:28-31). Could this explain the American religious right’s views on climate change and conservation? Probably, but they’ll never say it out loud—unlike me.
Genesis 2: God creates Adam out of dirt. Adam is set up on a blind date. God tells Adam to stay away from that tree.
- God formed Adam from “the dust from the ground.” (Gen 2:7). Adam was a dirty boy.
- God told Adam, take all you want, eat all you take, but whatever you do, do not eat from that tree over there unless you want to die. (Gen 2: 16-17). The tree is special because it is the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
- Now that God figured out what was good (see above), he planted a tree that would give man the same knowledge he had of good and evil. All the man had to do was eat the forbidden fruit—seems like a pretty easy road to enlightenment.
- God decides that “It [was] not good that the man should be alone.” (Gen 2:18). It seems like God was tired of taking care of Adam all by himself. This is the first evidence we have that even God recognizes men need someone to take care of them and keep them company–kind of like a baby.
- While Adam was sleeping, God took one of his ribs and used it to make Eve. Adam woke up the next morning in a hotel room in Mexico sitting in a bathtub full of ice.
- Just for the record, men and women have the same number of ribs. Go ahead, google it.
- Finally Adam and Eve were naked. But they weren’t ashamed. (Gen 2: 25). This is important later . . .
Genesis 3: Eve meets a serpent and screws everything up. Adam takes no responsibility for his decision to eat the forbidden fruit.
- The serpent tells Eve that God lied to her and if she ate the fruit she wouldn’t die. Rather, the serpent says, “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Gen 3:5).
- Eve decided to try the fruit. It looked delicious, it was pretty and the tree could “make one wise . . .”
- Once they eat the fruit, their eyes are “opened.” (Gen 3:7). Yet, they do not die. (I do acknowledge at this point that “die” might imply that they are immortal until they eat the forbidden fruit and are cast out of Eden).
- God lied in order to withhold wisdom and knowledge from Adam and Eve. Why would he lie? What is the harm in wisdom? From what I can tell, the harm is that when people begin thinking for themselves, they begin questioning everything. God wanted a flock of sheep, not rational, thinking men and women.
- All of a sudden they realized they were naked and immediately covered themselves up. I guess knowing good and evil, means you know your naked body is evil. But if God made man in his own image, is God inherently evil? Even God body shames others.
- Adam immediately tells on Eve and tells God that “the woman whom you (God) gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree . . .” Way to go, Adam. You were a real gentleman. The funny thing is that God doesn’t even seem phased by Adam sassing him and taking zero responsibility for his actions.
- God agrees with Adam and tells Eve that because of her, now it is going to really hurt to have babies, her desire should always be for her husband, and “he shall rule over you.” (Gen 3:16). Woman = chattel.
- For Adam, he had to become a farmer and God was cutting him off like a parent does to a college student who won’t attend his intro to Philosophy class while he is away at college. (Gen 3:18-19).
- Turns out, there was also a tree of life. It would make Adam and Eve immortal. But God said, “Behold, the man has become one of us in knowing good and evil. Now lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever . . .” Again with the “us.”
- This seems to imply that the only thing standing between man and God is immortality now that Adam and Eve at from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If this logic is true, how great can God really be? Does this mean that just like humans, he makes mistakes, he learns, he throws temper tantrums, and throws out his company. Does it mean that he is intellectually limited just like man? It appears so.
- He sent Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, made them some clothes and placed an angelic-like beings (cherubim/cherubs) and a flaming sword that turned “every way to guard the tree of life.” (Gen 3:20-21; 24).
- We have been introduced to angels, a floating flaming sword, and a talking snake. This is getting good.
Genesis 4: Adam and Eve are expecting and it’s a boy . . . two boys (Cain and Abel)! God registers for gifts and Cain goes off registry.
- Eve is so grateful that God blessed her with two boys. (Gen 4:1-2). Who would want a girl anyway? Yuck.
- Eve’s sons were Cain and Abel. They both brought offerings to God. Cain decided on “the fruit of the ground,” and Abel sprung for fat and the firstborn of his flock. (Gen:4:3-4). I assume these are sheep.
- God hated Cain’s gift and told him it sucked. (Gen 4:4-5)
- That pissed Cain off, and seeing Cain was upset, God began patronizingly asking Cain why he was angry. He said, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Gen 4:6-7). Is failing to please God with an offering is itself a sin? How could Cain know? It’s not like God could register on Amazon.
- Cain and Abel went on a walk and Cain killed Abel. (Gen 4:8). This angered God. God told Cain that he was going to be a wanderer and a fugitive on the earth. (Gen 4:12). Cain complained that his punishment was unbearable (what a wiener), and that anyone who saw him should kill him. God decided that nobody would be allowed to hurt Cain or he would punish them seven-fold. So, Cain moved down the road to Nod—that’s east of Eden. (Gen 4:16).
- Now that Cain was living away from home, he got married and had a kid named Enoch. They grow up so fast.
Genesis 5: From Adam to Noah, a family tree.
- Needless to say, Noah is a descendant of Adam. Adam lived 930 years before he died. The rest of his family also enjoyed what seems like obscene hereditary longevity. I guess an organic diet really can do wonders for one’s health.